Go beneath the surface
You know what you’re “supposed” to do. So why is it still so hard?
Therapy for people who want to better understand their patterns and build a more flexible relationship with food, their bodies, their emotions, and themselves.
Welcome, friend.
I’m Amparo (she/her), a licensed clinical mental health counselor (LCMHC) in North Carolina with over 25 years of experience in mental health.
I specialize in helping people navigate eating disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), body image concerns, perfectionism, emotional regulation, and patterns of over-control. I also provide LGBTQ+ affirming therapy and support for concerns related to race, gender, and identity.
You may understand your patterns and still find yourself repeating them. You may want a more peaceful relationship with food, your body, your emotions, or yourself—and still feel pulled toward familiar ways of coping.
That doesn’t mean you’re lazy, unmotivated, or working against yourself. Sometimes the patterns that cause problems are also trying to protect us from something.
Therapy can help you understand what’s happening beneath the surface, respond to yourself with more curiosity and less judgment, and build new ways of coping that are both practical and sustainable.
Change happens in the Messy Middle
I use the phrase “messy middle” to describe the space between understanding what needs to change and feeling ready—or able—to do something different.
Therapy with me isn’t going to be all validation, with a side of puppies and daisies. Validation matters; however, validating how you feel doesn’t mean I will always agree with every conclusion you reach or every choice you make.
Sometimes I may ask a question that makes you pause, point out a pattern you haven’t noticed before, or gently challenge you to look at something through a different lens. That doesn’t mean I’m judging you or that I don’t have your best interests at heart. It means I believe you came to therapy because something in your life isn’t working the way you want it to.
Some sessions may leave you feeling encouraged and empowered. Others may leave you frustrated, uncomfortable, or a little vulnerable. All of it matters. There’s a method to my madness, I promise. I also want us to be able to talk honestly about what comes up for you, including how therapy itself is feeling.
I want you to know that you’re in the driver’s seat, while I’m the helpful passenger. I won’t force you to change if you’re not ready, although I also won’t pretend that continuing to follow familiar patterns will get you closer to your goals. Real change tends to happen somewhere between feeling supported and being gently challenged at the same time. That’s the Messy Middle.
I’ve been in the Messy Middle, Too
For more than 25 years, I wrestled with yo-yo dieting, food restriction, overexercise, weight fluctuations, and dissatisfaction with my body. I kept searching for the “magic pill” that would finally fix my complicated relationship with food and my body. I even have a “graveyard” of abandoned pills under my bathroom sink to prove it.
As a woman of color, I also struggled to find resources that reflected my experience. So many of the ones I found made it seem like these were issues “only for white girls.” Finding honest, nonjudgmental support—and people who could help me look beyond food and weight—became an important part of my own journey.
My experience is one reason this work matters so much to me. It doesn’t mean I assume your story is the same as mine. It means I understand how complicated these struggles can be, how tempting the promise of a quick fix can feel, and how meaningful it is to be supported by someone who is willing to look beneath the surface with you.
There’s No One-Size-Fits-All Approach to Therapy
Two people can struggle with the same behavior for completely different reasons. That’s why I don’t believe in handing everyone the same set of tools and calling it therapy.
Together, we’ll look at what you’re struggling with, explore what may be happening beneath the surface, and figure out what works for you, your life, and your goals.
Food, Eating, and Body Image
Eating disorders, disordered eating, chronic dieting, body dissatisfaction, and rebuilding trust with food and your body.
Difficult Emotions and Familiar Ways of Coping
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), emotional overwhelm, self-harming behaviors, depression, anxiety, and developing practical emotion-regulation skills.
Perfectionism and Over-control
All-or-nothing thinking, rigid expectations, fear of making mistakes, self-criticism, and the pressure to always get things “right.”
Identity, Self-Worth, and Relationships
LGBTQ+ affirming therapy, concerns related to race and gender, self-esteem, codependency, peer relationships, grief, and loss.
When Fear Wants the Wheel
Sometimes we know what we want to change, and yet fear, self-criticism, or familiar ways of coping keep pulling us in another direction.
When Fear Wants the Wheel is a 70-page guided workbook that explores what may be happening beneath those patterns. It offers reflections and practical exercises to help you understand fear differently, respond to yourself with more curiosity, and take meaningful steps toward change.
If that sounds familiar, you can take a look at the workbook here. No pressure—just an invitation if it feels relevant to where you are right now.
My Writing
I also write about what happens beneath the surface of change—the fear, shame, self-criticism, and familiar patterns that can keep us stuck even when we know what we want to do.
The Messy Middle is where I explore the psychology behind why we get in our own way, with honesty, curiosity, and room for more than one thing to be true.
Ready to go beneath the surface?
Many people come to therapy feeling stuck in cycles of self-criticism, emotional overwhelm, and food struggles. Together, we’ll focus on what’s underneath and build kinder, more sustainable ways to respond.
